1. I never write in 3rd person, I find writing in 3rd person really impersonal to the reader (although I will read in it quite happily). So that was definitely different and I had to catch myself writing in 1st person a couple times.
2. Putting myself in as the main character. I found this hard, not because I don't know how to write myself but because I know how to too well. I always think about how I would write a story with me as the main character. So I found it hard to restrict myself into spilling my deepest, darkest thoughts into a story.
ANYWAY. Here is the first chapter of the story. Tell me if you want me to post the next ones and I will.
Chapter 1: Running.
Clouds, puffy white clouds stretched for miles beneath Hannah's feet. On any other day she would
have enjoyed this, and when she first climbed the beanstalk to the Cloud Kingdom she did.
have enjoyed this, and when she first climbed the beanstalk to the Cloud Kingdom she did.
The clear golden sunrise every morning was quite relaxing. But not this time, this time running
was all that mattered. But there was one problem, running on clouds - it's like running on a pile of
gravel. Your feet sink in and are hard to pull out, you stumble forward and you feel like at any
moment you could face plant.
was all that mattered. But there was one problem, running on clouds - it's like running on a pile of
gravel. Your feet sink in and are hard to pull out, you stumble forward and you feel like at any
moment you could face plant.
Fortunately, this was working in her favour, because as much as she was slowing down, he was as
well. He was ten feet tall, he wore fine clothes, a red cloak, and a bow tie. On his head sat a golden
crown, that was what she was trying to steal. That's what she had to try to steal.
well. He was ten feet tall, he wore fine clothes, a red cloak, and a bow tie. On his head sat a golden
crown, that was what she was trying to steal. That's what she had to try to steal.
But she failed. She wasn't worried. She wasn't supposed the steal the crown - that's the whole point
of the story. Harp under one arm, rosy red jewel under the other, Hannah made it to the edge of the
cloud.
of the story. Harp under one arm, rosy red jewel under the other, Hannah made it to the edge of the
cloud.
This was her big moment. Her feet danced on the edge of the cloud, she was delaying the jump.
Just thinking about it made her stomach drop and head dizzy. She was building her courage up
when a roar erupted from behind her, she had no choice. She tried to jump and stopped herself on
the last second.
Just thinking about it made her stomach drop and head dizzy. She was building her courage up
when a roar erupted from behind her, she had no choice. She tried to jump and stopped herself on
the last second.
He was drawing closer now. She could feel his shadow creeping over her like a thousand tiny spiders.
She had no choice, she had to go...not yet, not yet, she wasn't ready, not yet. She couldn't wait any
longer.
“NOW!” she yelled at the top of her lungs, taking the leap of faith.
She had no choice, she had to go...not yet, not yet, she wasn't ready, not yet. She couldn't wait any
longer.
“NOW!” she yelled at the top of her lungs, taking the leap of faith.
The air raced past her, her stomach dropped, she could feel the panic rising. He brain was frozen,
she knew what she had to do but she couldn't force herself to do it. Couldn't make herself turn in the
air and grab the beanstalk.
she knew what she had to do but she couldn't force herself to do it. Couldn't make herself turn in the
air and grab the beanstalk.
She was now plummeting at immense speed, in any normal world she would be worried that she
would die. In any normal world, she would die. But in this world, she couldn't.
would die. In any normal world, she would die. But in this world, she couldn't.
The ground was coming nearer and nearer. She could see it, the thing she needed. The thing that
would stop this mess.
would stop this mess.
The ground was close, she hit it with a hard THUMP! She let out a groan of frustration and pain.
Just because she didn't die did not mean that it didn't hurt.
Just because she didn't die did not mean that it didn't hurt.
Hannah tried to stand up, she could feel the giant gaining on her. Her legs caught around each other
and she fell back into the dirt. Muttering under her breath she stood up again, this time racing
toward the axe. The one that would solve this mess.
Reaching out to grab the axe she realized that she was still holding the harp and the ruby.
Dropping them in the grass she pulled the axe out of the stump and ran back toward the
beanstalk. Swinging the axe up and praying that it was the right thing she hit the stalk.
Dropping them in the grass she pulled the axe out of the stump and ran back toward the
beanstalk. Swinging the axe up and praying that it was the right thing she hit the stalk.
A loud crack broke out of the stalk, gold dust flew off it and the axe and gathered around her,
like ants on jam. Then she was lifted off the ground, a golden light enveloped her and the last thing
that she saw before being taken away was the beanstalk falling to the ground.
like ants on jam. Then she was lifted off the ground, a golden light enveloped her and the last thing
that she saw before being taken away was the beanstalk falling to the ground.
In her mind she hoped that the story ends well, that was her problem with her job. She never gets to
see how a story ends.
see how a story ends.
Did you like it? Do you want me to post the next chapter? If you do tell me in the comments! Thank you!
Hannah,
ReplyDeleteYour writing is always very compelling. I think you have done a great job including yourself in a story and I didn't notice any 1st/3rd person slip. I hope you write some more.
:) Mum
Hey Mum!
Deletethanks for your comment! It's good that you didn't find any slip ups. I do think that I managed to catch all of the slip ups.
From Hannah