My Non Chronological report-Mer-Wolfs

For the Last two weeks we have been looking at Non Chronological Reports. A Non Chronological Report is a factual report.

I found adding descriptive words the hardest thing because I didn't want to turn it into a story.
I have improved by putting in more descriptive words and adverbs.

For this Non Chronological Report we had to write about a new animal/creacher. I created the Mer-Wolf (see picture below).

Here is my Non Chronological Report: 

The Mer-Wolf   

The Mer-wolf is an unusual occurrence that happens when a werewolf is somehow pushed into a body
of water that contains merpeople, if the werewolf can not get itself out of the water it will proceed to
search for lifeforms to bite and eat in the water. If a merperson happens to be swimming past and is
bit by the werewolf it creates the Mer-wolf.

Appearance:

The Mer-wolfs appearance can be very frightening. Often adopting the brown and black torso and head
of a werewolf and the tail of a merperson, varying in color. The tail will become covered with small spikes of  fur and the werewolf head will grow miniscule gills on the outside of its neck. On an odd
occasion that it will keep the merpersons delicate head and grow too long werewolf legs, this sends
the merperson into a hypnotic state and will develop a taste for blood and hunting instincts.  It will swim
up to the surface of the water and search on land for blood never straying far from the bank of the
lake or ocean that it came from, this makes Mer-wolfs very poor hunters on land as many of the prey
they are looking for will be in villages. Far from any body of water that merpeople live in since
merpeople are very shy creatures and prefer to live away from humans. Underwater the mer-wolf will
swim with a sort of awkwardness, the arms will often be as long as or longer than its tail which makes
them a hazard to itself. .

Dietary:

Not unlike the normal werewolf the Mer-wolf will search for victims of its bite. It will also feed on fish
and other forms of seas life. If the mer-wolf is incredibly hungry it will search for dead bodys and
corpes to feast on. The mer-wolf is a poor hunter because of its tail and arms dragging it down it is
very slow and if it dose find a merperson to bite it is very unlikely that it will plant a bite because of its
slow swimming.

Transformation:

The Mer-wolfs transformation is more uncommon than normal werewolves transformation because
it will only transform when the full moon's light passes over the part of ocean or lake that the mer-wolf
lives in. Transformations can last from anywhere from 18 hours to 5 minutes. This makes the Mer-wolf
very unknown and many believe that the Mer-wolf is a myth.

Conclusion:

It is very unlikely that you will ever see a Mer-Wolf and if you do the best thing to do is climb a tree
since the Mer-Wolf does not like to climb because they find it hard to get back down. If you are
underwater swim to the surface and get out of the water, most Mer-Wolfs will not get out of the water.
They are slow so there is a chance you will be able to get away from it.  A person hasn't seen a
Mer-Wolf in 1050 years.

Narrative writing practise.

In writing this week we were shown a video called Oceanmaker. Mrs Spragg paused the video at 1:47 and we had to plan and write the rest of the story from that point on. 

First we talked about what a Narrative needs: 

• 1st or 3rd person view
• Beginning. middle, end
• Personification
• Problem
• Solution
• setting
• character
• vocab (who, what, when, where, why)
• connectives  (suddenly, therefore, afterwards) 

Here is the video: 

(Wach untill 1:47 and puse then read my story after that watch the rest of the video) 

CGI Animated Short Film HD: "The Ocean Maker Short Film" by Lucas Martell | Mighty Coconut

We had success criteria to follow and then after we had finished the story we assessed it and then we had a peer assess it. 

Name   Hannah                                                                   Peer Marker: Ian

Success Criteria - Narrative
Features of Text	Student	Peer
I have included a beginning, middle and an end.
I have created a setting by showing with my words or using who, what, when & where.
I have included a problem & solved it (or created good tension)
I have written a satisfying ending.
I have written in either 1st person or 3rd person.	1st
I have used descriptive language throughout  (sets of 3, alliteration, similes, personification, metaphors) and provided detail to my story.
I have used a range sequencing connectives. (time words or phrases)
My Personal Target/s: ISPACE and Advanced punctuation	Good with ISPACE

What I think I did well: I think my beginning was really good and I used lots of describing words What my partner thinks I’ve done well: Time connectives and phrases What I think I need to improve next time: I think I could improve on my middle and end, I felt like they weren't the best I could do. What my partner thinks I need to improve next time:  Make a more satisfying ending

 

Here is my story: 

Puttering of the failing engine distracted my every thought. Sweat dripped from my dust covered forehead onto my goggles and down my cheeks, looking through my binoculars for anything short of a miracle. The golden desert gleamed below me like glowing sun, my plain was dipping up and down. Then I noticed a gleam of light coming from the lighthouse lamp, there it was again. It was  pointing at something in the sky. Following the light I looked up at a cloud. I looked at again, hoping I wasn't getting sunstroke but no, there was a cloud. Hope is a magical thing, I was so excited. Turing the plain towards the cloud I started fly to it but then I smelt smoke, looking down at the first engine I gasped, it was smoking and had stopped spinning.

“I can make it to the lighthouse in time” I thought, doing the calculations in my head. Pulling forward the lever. The smoke became more intense, two engines were down! Pushing even harder we hit top speed but then I heard an explosion! Engin three had exploded and we were falling nose first into the sand. Knowing there was nothing more I could do I placed my hands over my head, preparing for impact.

It came, I was jerked up and down in my seat, feeling sick I knew when we had finished, Unclipping my seatbelt I grabbed my plans off the dashboard and my backpack from behind me, running as far away from the plain as I could. BANG! It exploded and the heat hit my back (not that it made much of a difference). Slowly turning my head to see the damage I groaned, it was gonna take weeks to fix. Then the door to the lighthouse opened, a short man stuck his head out. He had light brown skin with grey hair sticking up in angles, he was wearing an old air force vest and green pants. He hopped along with a weird jiggle in his step.

“who are you?” he asked, he had a high voice with a slight crock to it.

“um, hi. Im Kayla. My plane just crashed”

“yes, yes. See that, see that. Let me look, let me look” he said running over to it. I ran after him, not wanting him to break it. “where did you get this junk?”

“I built it” I replied stuffing my papers in my bag

“I can see why you crashed it”

“I didn't plan to crash it”

“yes, yes.” he said turning away from it “my name is Zem”

“Zem?” I said confused by the name

“yes Zem, Zem!”

“ok, ok” I said and before I knew it he had grabbed hold of my hand and dragged me inside the lighthouse.

At the bottom was a small kitchen with a door off the side. Looking up I saw a dizzying set of spiral stairs with a floor in the center then a floor at the top.

“How long have you lived here?” I asked him

“for as long as I have lived here for”

“ok,but how long have you lived here for?”

¨For as long as I have lived here for” he replied

¨so...a long time”

¨yes, yes.”

¨what do you do for food?”

¨I came here long, long time ago with air force. Ate all food we had then when food done I ate the only thing left” I shuddered at the thought of him eating his crew members.

¨air force huh. Can you build? I need help building something”

¨what, what!¨ He said jumping up and down in excitement

¨its this rainmaker” I said passing him the notes. He skimmed them and then became way to excited, grabbing my hand and pulling me up the towering staircase.

In the second floor could have been mistaken as a workshop if not for the bed crammed in the corner.

¨Zem! You have everything in here we need” I exclaimed and we started getting to work.

Maybe this is the Miracle i've been looking for.

(now go back and watch the rest of the video)

I would really like your feedback on what I did well and what I could improve on. I think I used a lot of SPACE and I think I could improve on my ending. Im not particularly proud of this story, I think I could have done a lot better and I didnt really enjoy the video so I think that showed in my story. 

Free Write: The Magic Circle

Hey Everyone!

For the last few weeks we have been doing free write, in free write we had to choose a picture and then write a story about that picture. I really enjoyed this because it was testing my imagination and I want to be a tween writer when im older. After we have finished our stories we had to bring them to Mrs Taylor and  she would give us an editing sheet to work with. I haven't finished my Story yet so please keep in mind that it is not finished and that I have not edited it properly yet.

This is my Picture that I chose

The Magic Circle

The morning was a chilly autumn morning, jack frost was out and about. My bare legs had goose bumps and I wished I had put on tights this morning. Our school skirts aren't exactly warm. I ran through the school gates, wishing the classroom was closer, navy blue and white was everywhere, I shoved my bag into my locker that I shared with Olivia. Suddenly it hit me like a someone had dropped a directory on my head, my sea blue eyes were wide, today was the massive french test and I forgot to study! I ran out of the locker room

“Jeez Lilly, you're gonna trip over. Slow down!” I thought to myself and slowed down instantly, imagining me tripping over and everyone laughing, embarrassing!  I pushed open the door and walked in, spotting them instantly. Olivia, Matilda and River, my bffs all had blond hair. While Olivia, Matilda and I all had blue eyes, Rivers were a yellowish green.

“Hey Lilly, I like what you've done with your hair” Olivia said to me. I moved my hand to my dirty blond hair, which was up in a fishtail braid.

“Thanks but that's not important. Did you guys study for the french test?” I asked urgently.

“I'm doing spanish” River reminded me

“Yeh, it was really confusing” Olivia said

“Same, but you know i'm crap at language” Matilda told me

“Umm, I may have forgotten to” I said twisting my fingers  

“It's ok, we can help you study at lunch. Remember french is last period today” Matilda reassured me

“Ok” I said, not so sure. Suddenly the bell rung making all of us jump. I moved to my desk. Mr Rosenberg walked to the front of the class and started taking the roll

“Jamie Andrews, Merida Anderson...” but I tuned out,

“It's ok, you know heaps of french you probably know everything for the test already” I thought and quickly tuned back in just as he was calling out my twin brother's name (Luke Walter)

“Lilly Walter” He said and I raised my hand.

That lunch I had to stay back in the classroom to talk to the math teacher. I walked out to the cafeteria and loaded up my tray with fries and a burrito. I walked outside and sat under the tree we had agreed to meet under. River, Oliva and Matilda weren't there yet,

“Thats weird, im sure that they said this tree.” I thought but I couldn't think about it for long and pulled out my massive french textbook and started to read. The bell rang and I still hadn't seen them all lunch. I walked to History, they weren't in class ether. I tried to pay attention but all I could think about was where they were. I exited class in a haze, not really paying attention to anything. Until Destiny ran up to me, her dirty blond hair up in a ponytail with a pink bow on the top.

“Hey Lills!” she said and walked next to me

“Oh, hey Destiny. Do you know where Olivia, Matilda and River are?” I asked

“Who?”

“You know, Olivia Williams, Matilda Rogers, River King. I thought you knew them, they have been in your class since grade 1”

“Huh? Do I need to worry about you?”

“No, there definitely real.” I said but I started to doubt myself.

That day after school I asked my french teacher if she knew where Matilda and Olivia were but she just looked at me strangely and asked if I was feeling ok because she had no idea who they were.

“Lills, come on!” Luke called to me

“Yeh, yeh. I’m coming” I said and walked out the door.

When we were walking home I cautiously asked Luke about my friends,

“So… did anyone you know disappear at lunch today?” I asked him

“No, what are you doing?” he asked

“Nothing, nothing. Just out of interest did you see any of my friends at lunch today?” I asked him

“Yeh sure, I saw Lila by the- What are you doing?” he said, stopping mid sentence.

“But you didn't see anyone of my friends, like River or Matilda or Oliva, maybe?” I asked ignoring his question.

“Who are River, Matilda and Oliva? I have never heard of them and we have been in the same classroom since kindergarten” he said and I decided to make a more visual approach, I pulled out my phone and looked for photos of them but everywhere they were in photos had disappeared. My camera roll was filled with blank backgrounds or groupies with only me and Destiny in them, were they were supposed to be in selfies was just the blank background. I stuffed my phone in my pocket and grumbled

“Never mind”.  We pushed open the blue door to our home and we saw that Dad was sitting at the kitchen bench, reading a book on “Acting in the 1950’s”.

“Hey Dad.” we both said and ran up the stairs to our rooms, I threw my bag down on the ground and looked at the photo frames on my bookshelf, I wasn't surprised when most of them were just blank backgrounds. My stomach grumbled, reminding me that I hadn't eaten that much at lunch. Dragging my feet back down the stairs I wished for not the first time that we lived in a one story house. I made myself a cheese,ham,pineapple and tomato toastie.

“How was school?” Dad asked me, he had his “I'm not going to work today clothes on” with comfy jeans and a t-shirt that said, “I write, what's your Superpower?”. His dirty blond hair looked like he hadn't combed it today. If he was younger he could have been, mine and Luke's triplet brother, except for the fact that Luke and I had blue eyes and Dad had green. Dad was an Actor, Author and he owned a cafe that was called “The green bean”. Our Mum left when Luke and I were three, so Dad had been a single Dad for a long time, i’m not sure how he balances all of his jobs but he does.

“It was ok. I forgot to study for a massive french test today but I think I did pretty well anyway” I said cutting my toastie and taking a massive bite, indicating that I was really hungry and done talking about school.

It was two hours later when I was reading on my bed, I looked up at my pink and white clock and sat up and ran down the stairs, Dad may have all of these talents but he was a horrible cooker. Luke wouldn't be able to boil water so this left me to do all of the cooking, today I was making Salmon and homemade chips. Cooking distracted me from thinking about Oliva, River and Matilda. I served up the food but ate in a daze, while Luke and Dad talked all I could think about were where they were. I was jolted out of my thoughts by Dad talking

“Lills? You sure you're ok?” he asked me

100WC

Hi everyone!
This week the 100WC challenge prompt was ...When the smoke cleared... (I know creepy!). If you have read last weeks 100WC then you will have no problem understanding this one, but if you did not then I suggest you read that before this one: http: Last weeks 100WC
Thanks!

I heard the sound of the waves, I felt the wind on my face, and as the smoke cleared I saw the raging river. Suddenly a boat popped up and I climbed in and rowed across the icy lake. When I reached the island in the middle off the lake I was exhausted and shivering but I knew the Owl King was not going to show me mercy so I walked in.

¨Your Highness, I have brought you the Akaroa Diamond, now please let Amber go!¨ I said bowing at his clawed feet. I heard the clink of a key in a lock and Amber was running toward me!

100WC

Today the 100WC prompt was the sentence: The Material felt like. I really enjoyed writing this one because it adds more mystery. See if you can spot the prompt in my story and comment the sentence I use it in!

Lilly no, you don't have to do this! I heard Amber's words ringing in my ears. I took a deep breath and opened the lock on the Glass velvet lined case. I had been given this mission by the Owl King, Get the Akaroa diamond and bring it back to me and I´ll let them go The Owl King had told me. I felt the Velvet, the material felt like silk beneath my fingers covering them in dust. Why did I have to do this? I asked myself. I quickly changed the diamond for a fake one and jumped out the window with the diamond feeling really ashamed.

Hogwarts life: Year 1, Chapter 1

Hey guys! I am writing a seven book short story and I am going to be posting a chapter every week. It is about if I went to hogwarts when Harry Potter and everyone who went at that time.

Hogwarts life, Year 1, Chapter 1:

It was just a normal morning in the Smith household. "Lol" this was not a normal morning at all, I was going to Hogwarts school of Witchcraft and wizardry! I had brought all the books about hogwarts that I could buy with the extra money Mum and Dad had exchanged!

"Lilly come down for breakfast, we need to get going soon" mum called down the hall

Oh shoot it was 10:30 the train levees at 12:00! (It was good I had packed a day before)

"Coming mum" I said running down the hall and sliding into the kitchen.

I was a thin girl with light blue eyes and long brown hair that went down to my hips. I loved fashion, animals, make up and books!

"See you at the end of the year" Dad said

"Ok Dad bye Mum, Dad" I said as I stepped out of the car, I knew that they had to go to a job interview as they own their own business.

Huh this says platform 9 ¾  but I decided against going up to the station manager and asking.  Then I heard a voice:

"It's the same every year packed with Muggles. Come on platform 9 ¾  this way" a red haired woman said

I decided to follow them and see if I can ask her about it.

I fast walked after them my straight brown hair flying in the late morning breeze. I had lost them dangit!

"OH CRAP, I am so sorry!", I said banging into two red headed boys!

"Hey! Watch where you're walking missy" one of them said

"I am so sorry! I just wasn't looking where I was walking and I was trying to find out how to get onto platform 9 ¾, Oh” I gasped as I saw the red haired women I was following

"Sorry let me introduce myself, My name is Lilly Rose Smith I said I am 11 years old and I need to ask for help on how to get on platform 9 ¾ " I said the way Mum told me to (she was big on manners).

Three of the red haired boys started laughing the two that I had just bumped into and one who looked about my age

"Fred, George, Ron really she is properly  muggle born and needs our help. My name is Molly Weasley, this is Percy she said Pointing to what looked like the oldest and the most stuck up one of them all. This is Fred and This is Gorge she said Pointing to each of the twins still silently laughing. This is Ron she said Pointing to the red haired boy who look like he was around my age. And this is Ginny she said Pointing to the short haired girl who looked about 10" she said all this well still looking slightly angry at Fred, George and Ron for laughing.

Suddenly a black haired boy with round glasses and a lightning bolt shaped scar came  walking up to us.

"Excuse me? Can y-you tell me how to get onto the platform?" He said

"Of course it's Ron and Lilly's first time as well. All you have to do is walk straight at the barrier between platform 9 and 10" she said. I know it sounds a little crazy but then Percy, Fred and George all went and so I trusted her.

This is my haiku of the walk.

The Amazing Race!

We are doing an amazing race. It is when you read a book and then you write a summary on the book and every time you write a summary you go down a county and everytime you go to a different county you have to find one fact about that country.  Here are my facts...

Mid Year Reflection

This is my mid year reflection! Please push the links if you want to see what I am talking about on it.

100WC

This week the prompt was this picture... 

 We had to think of ways our character was in there in the first place and how they could escape! 

Framed!

I was sitting in my cold cell in Alcatraz. I was put here because I had killed 13 innocent people, but the truth is I was framed! I was simply caught at the scene of the crime, they took me in for a trial but I was so scared I could not talk and I landed here! 

I was in line at the lunch line and sat at a table and everyone else moved away from me. So I decided to come up with a plan. I am so skinny that those prison bars do not hold me anymore and I can slip through when ever I feel like it.

100WC

This week the prompt was that we had to use these words, Violin, Eaten, Yellow, Airplane, Swept.
I will have the words in bold.

The Violin Door

I was walking along the yellow moth eaten path (I know weird right) as I came across something weird, and old airport! As I approached the airport I saw something odd, the door had a violin on it! I opened the door my curiosity taking over. I gasped! The airport was my airport back home in christchurch! But something was different. Then I realized it as an airplane swept the ground all of the doors had a violin on it! Suddenly a man walked up to me
“little girl”, he said
“hello!?”, I said confused
“come with me!”, he said
“I’m gonna go I have a plane to catch”,.

100WC

HELP THE STATUES ALIVE!

“Hello Sir”,

“Hello”, I looked around to see who said it

“Hello Sir”,

I gaped as I saw the bronze statue moving and talking

“Wow it is so different from when I was alive”,

“UMM WOW”,

“Well there is my plane so I must be going!”,.

“Oh but you can't go now you haven't shown me around!”,

I didn't want to show him around I had an image you know and I want to keep it.

“Oh but I’m gonna miss my flight and it won't come back until next week”,

“Oh if you must goodbye”,

“Goodbye”, I said relieved

100WC

HELP THE STATUES ALIVE!

“Hello Sir”,

“Hello”, I looked around to see who said it

“Hello Sir”,

I gaped as I saw the bronze statue moving and talking

“Wow it is so different from when I was alive”,

“UMM WOW”,

“Well there is my plane so I must be going!”,.

“Oh but you can't go now you haven't shown me around!”,

I didn't want to show him around I had an image you know and I want to keep it.

“Oh but I’m gonna miss my flight and it won't come back until next week”,

“Oh if you must goodbye”,

“Goodbye”, I said relieved

HELP!

I wrote this on night zookeeper and thought I could post it on my blog.


“HELLO!!!”, 
“AMBER!”,
“ANYONE!!!”,
I was under a pile of rubble. Just moments before Amber and I were playing Lazer strike and suddenly they were evacuating us and the building fell. I was still wearing my Lazer strike gear so I could tell if I found anyone because the laser would find them. I was scared to move any stone because the rubble on top of me could fall! Then I remembered I charged my phone before we went to Lazer Strike. I pulled it out of my pocket and I saw it ringing it was Amber! 

“Amber where are you?”,
“I don’t know”, 
“wait you’re all ecoey!”, 
“so?”, 
“that means that you’re near me!”, 
“ok I’ll ring Dad”,
“good and I’ll ring Sam!”, 
“I love you Amber!”, .

I started ringing Sam (Sam was my boyfriend and my BFF) 
“Sam?”, 
“oh thank the stars you’re alright”, he said relieved
“yeah I think Amber’s right next to me I rang her and she was all ecoey”,
“she’s ringing our Dad”, 
“he’s on the phone to someone next to me so I guess it is Amber”, 
Suddenly my Lazer Strike gear started going red like I had been hit
“wait someone is next to me and I am going red”, 
“you mean you still have your lazer strike gear on”, 
“yea”, 
“look I have to save battery”, 
“ok its good to know your safe”, 
“I love you”, I said I was sad that we might never see each again 
“I love you to”,.

Suddenly someone’s hand broke through the rubble next to me!
“LILLY IS THAT YOU?”, Amber yelled 
“yes Amber!”, we spoke though a gap in the rubble not daring to move anymore rubble. 
“Amber your hand is bleeding!”, 
“yeh I know”, 
“wait”, I grabbed a sharp rock and cut a piece of my T-shirt off and wrapped her hand in it.
I grabbed her in a hug and she pushed the rocks and they fell on top of her! 
“AMBER!”, I screamed 
someone grabbed me and saw Ambers body and pulled it out from under the rubble and carried us both over to the side were Dad and Sam were waiting. Thats when it hit me like two rocks, I had lost Mum two years ago in a fire and now Amber. This was one bit worse than losing Mum I had seen it and it was my fault Amber was dead! 

I have been told countless times that it wasn’t my fault but it was. 
I made her make a hole in the rubble,
I gave her a hug, 
and I was pulling her towards me! 

Written by, Lilly Smith, 2018